Doing Resolutions Right: Reflect, Dream, Plan, and Do!

If you're a personal growth junkie like me, then this time of year gets you fired up to set goals and make plans for the year ahead. Sadly, the grand aspirations don't always get very far. They stay stuck between the pages of our private journals, or never get written down at all. This year, I'm sharing with you a simple process for doing the New Years' Resolution thing right - in a thoughtful, thorough, and pragmatic way sure to help you stick with your goals in the year to come. Read on, and download the guide I've created to walk you through the process yourself.

Step 1: REFLECT

Before looking ahead, it's important to take some time to look back. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What goals did you have last year?
  • Which did you achieve, and which did not move forward?
  • What do you think helped or hindered your progress?
  • What can you learn from the past that can help you with your goals going forward?

This is not meant to be a deep dive into your distant past - if you need that, I recommend finding your way to a therapist's office (starting psychotherapy might even be a goal for this year!). This step is to help you realistically assess how you did last year in implementing your goals, and to gather any wisdom or life lessons to help you move ahead. You might realize "I keep setting the same goal to start exercising every year, and again it did not happen. Maybe I need to try a different strategy this year or be more specific to help myself this time around." You might also say something like "I tried to meditate more, and got into a great habit of doing it at least twice per week. I think it helped that I shared my goal with my spouse, so I'll be sure to share my goals again this year."

Step 2: DREAM

In this step, your job is to let your mind run wild with possibility! Take some time to brainstorm all the possible goals you might set for yourself in the year ahead. This is not the time for your realistic mind to ask "how?" or say "that's impossible!" Approach this with a sense of play, and give yourself 20-30 minutes to see how many ideas you can come up with. They might be habit goals (e.g. meditate daily) or achievement goals (e.g. pay off credit card debt). 

Step 3: PLAN

Now it's time to put on your adulting hat, and take a fresh look at the ideas you just generated. Which seem like they might be doable this year? Be mindful of other obligations you have in life, and remember that some goals might be better saved for periods where things are less busy. For instance, if you just got a new job and will be spending a lot of time learning the ropes this year, you may not have time to start a side hustle as well. 

That said, don't be afraid to choose goals that push you a little bit, or feel a little uncomfortable. Remember that the best goals also help us grow in some way, and for this to happen we have to do things that push us out of our comfort zone.

Look over your dream goals, and start to whittle them down. You might put stars next to your favorite. You might find that several cluster together, e.g. "take a drawing class" and "dust off the old guitar and start noodling more often" might be two steps towards a larger goal like "explore my creativity again." Also, make sure the goals feel like they will realistically fit into your life this year. Your goals should seem synergistic when looked at together. For instance, if you want to run your first half marathon then you'll spend many weekends training. It may not be the best time to add in a second goal that requires a lot of weekend time.

Finalize your list of 5-10 goals, and write them down. Be sure that they are specific, measurable, and achievable. Make notes of any time element for the goals: deadlines, start dates, when you want to schedule the new activity (e.g. meditate in the morning after showering). For bigger goals, such as paying off debt, you may need to outline several steps to get you there which can be scheduled for different parts of the year (e.g. by January 30th, schedule session with a financial advisor).

Step 4: DO

With your wonderful, practical, and yet also dreamy goals in hand, the time now comes to implement them! Be sure to set up supportive structures to help you achieve your goals, including:

  • Schedule activities in your daily/weekly planner
  • Use a task management app
  • Have accountability sessions with friends or family
  • Schedule goal check-ins periodically throughout the year (with yourself or others)
  • Find a supportive community of people who share your aspirations

Be sure to download the free 8-page guide that walks you through this process, and most importantly, enjoy this process. Happy new year!

Katherine King, PsyD

Katherine King, PsyD is a clinical psychologist, writer, and educator. She has lived several lifetimes including past manifestations as a massage therapist, yoga teacher, bookseller, and dementia caregiver.